Co-workers are goofy. Yes goofy with a capital G. Ofcourse my co-workers most likely think I'm goofy, although I give them no reason to. Cause I? Am the epitome of the perfect worker. *ahem*
So last week I was sick. Actually just that Tuesday morning really. I was well enough to work by Tuesday night, and I did, and then by Wednesday it was back to business as usual. But since I had been out sick, everyone in the office treated me like I had Leoparsy or something.
This one guy, who used to sneak glances at my crotch (pig!), but no longer does since he finally got himself a girlfriend, comes up to me and says, while covering his mouth, "So. What was it? The flu?"
Seriously, covering his mouth? I was offended! He may as well emailed me or called me on the phone to ask me if I had the flu. So since he had gone to the trouble of covering his mouth, I thought I should go to the trouble of coughing all over him. Then I held up my hand to my mouth, like I couldn't talk cause I was gonna hurl, and ran to my office. Once in my office I sent him an email.
dear XXXXXX.
yeah it's the flu! run for your life!!!!
thank you and have a great day. :)
Haha! That was payback for the crotch glances.
Then this other lady comes into my office. I have to just say this. Hypochondriac.
Her: "Wow. So when you were sick, did you feel all feverish?"
Me: "Yeah. And I was nauseous for a few hours. But that passed. Headache was bad. But that passed real quick."
Her: "Really? I have a headache too. And I've been feeling like I'm gonna throw up. Did you have cramps or pain in your uterus at all?"
Me: "????"
Her: "Cause I'm feeling like my uterus is cramping and I might have the runs."
Me: "???!!!!???"
Her: "And I'm breaking out in these sweats. I have the shivers."
Me: "Ummm. I'm sorry you don't feel well. But can we continue this coversation via email?..."
So I'm not usually so, rude. But if someone has the cooties that involves the runs, or thinks they have the cooties that involves the runs, I want no part of it! Even if it is imagined! Plus, I'm thinking that having any illness related conversation via email is a good idea! That way if somone is really ill, they won't have to be embarrassed by the occassional nose leakage. Plus, people just plain don't look good when ill. So you never have to see someone at their worst. Unless you want to that is.
This morning, as soon as I arrived in the office, and this lady reports to me that she's over the runs.
Like I wanna know this????!!!!???
Cooties & Booties
Hehehe Ben. Glad you got a
Hehehe Ben. Glad you got a giggle. :)
Sick Days
I find that the next day, instead of people saying something like "Glad to see you back among the living; we missed you yesterday," they seem to act all overconcerned. No I really don't want to compare stories about how much weight you can lose from a bout of Montezuma's Revenge, or the wanting to be shut away in an isolation chamber from all noise, light, and food smells during a migraine. Can't you see I'm fine, and I'm trying to make up for lost time here?
Jane Bear, normally when I
Jane Bear, normally when I get back in the office, they first hit me with all the bad news of what happened while I wasn't there. And that usually happens before I can even put my purse down. lol And yup the comparing of weight loss and complete dehydration due to vomitting usually follows. It's amazing we even get work done. lol
You get it, alright!
Hello. I'm back. Even if I still don't feel 100%, I'm functional, so I'm here to work, not make small talk.
lol! gross stuff... don't
lol! gross stuff...
don't you just love how everyone has to compare symptoms when they get sick - as if it matters if they had the exact same strain of WHATEVER sickness they have? When will people realize that others don't want to hear about the status of their ass at any particular point in time. Ever. ???
For real Dawn! But given how
For real Dawn! But given how stressed out everyone is at work, I think the hypochondiac was fishing for symptoms so she could call in sick the next day! lol
At least you feel better now!
Not only are you feeling better GB, your sense of humor is better than ever!
When I had a "real" job for a little while, I worked with this one woman who would get into work and run the water in the faucet for about 30 minutes BEFORE SHE BRUSHED HER TEETH! (Yikes!) There are some real nutters around, huh?
Yikes! If someone were to do
Yikes! If someone were to do that out here in Cali, since we are a desert, she'd get an earful. lol It's not like as if the extra 29 minutes and 55 seconds are gonna do the inside of the facet any good. lol
LOL
HAHAHAHA!
Girl...u know just how to make me laugh... Oh how I need that today after a rough day at work.
Hillarious girl...
I would have started coughing like crazy and aimed for his shoulder for support and just rubbed all my germs on him. LMAO
I wonder what he would have done..!
*hehe*
I'm glad you're feeling better. And hey, I got goofy co-workers to. But please don't make me GO THERE.
Grrrrrrrrrr...
LOL 
*Love ya Girl!*
Hehe thanks sweetie. :)Â
Hehe thanks sweetie. :)
I'm pretty sure if I would have touched him with my cooties he would have freaked! Then he might have run away, tripped and hit his head. lol Better that I didn't touch him at all, eh? ;) Love ya too!
Here's one...
Next time tell them that you felt like your vagina was falling out, but it's better now. Guaranteed, they'll never ask you again.
Haha Robin. I really need to
Haha Robin. I really need to try that one. ;)
Yeah, I get way tmi from my
Yeah, I get way tmi from my co-workers too. Some have the nerve to mention problems going on below the belt. They actually come into my office and close the door to chat about this. It's bad when they corner you in your own office and there's nowhere to escape.
Sharron, I keep telling my
Sharron, I keep telling my boss I need a trap door under my desk for that very reason! ;)
Runs the Other Way!
Ewwwwww!!!! I also don't want to be a part of any conversation about vomiting. After 2 minutes of that I'm ready to vomit myself. Even just typing the word twice has me gagging.
LOl, PG, I know you mean! I
LOl, PG, I know you mean! I don't have a strong stomach when it comes to vomit. /me shudders...
hahahaha... sounds like my
hahahaha... sounds like my office. Of course, I'd just think the girls were hungover.
N.
Nat, get this. No one in my
Nat, get this. No one in my office drinks! Not even a glass of wine at the work parties. You can imagine how fun our parties are! lol
Hey thanks for stopping by
Hey thanks for stopping by spiritdancerq. I think in our case, we're all so stressed at work, people are looking for excuses not to come into the office. Illness is always a good one. :)
Understand
yea...I know what you mean...people have a tendency to over dramatize things and in an office situation it is even worse.
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The runs cracked my ass up GB. No pun NINtended.
Cool post.