Where Was I?

Currently playing through my head...Jeff Buckley, Everybody Here Wants You. An amazingly sexy, sexy (and did I already mention sexy?) song.

And I feel intoxicated for some reason. Not drunk by alcohol. Just drunk by means of such specialness I can't even express it. Or maybe it's because I've not eaten anything today so I'm lightheaded and imagining things. Too much running around. No time to eat. I already know this entry is not going to make sense. Who knows? When one feels intoxicated anyways, one really doesn't care if one makes sense.

Not everything has to make sense.

I'm remembering that.

So in the big scheme of things, somehow there's this person who makes me feel drunk at the thought of them. My mind gets cloudy and I'm constantly asking myself ...Where was I? Who's there as I go about the business of the day...returning phone calls...the sound of your voice talks to me between the beeps of the telephone pad. Just random words spoken at one point in time or another. And sometimes more specific things spoken to me. To me for me to hear. Mundane things around the house...watering my newly replanted orchids...pretty flower...hello you there in my thoughts. Hello you. Yes you. I'm thinking I want to hold you right and feel you hold me against you. Why aren't you here?

Where was I?

Focus Charm.

Must finish spreadsheet today if nothing else. And put in all ergo orders. I freaking adore you. Email on loans. The loans don't balance. I do. Let's see...this balancing this is too easy. You have no idea. How could you? How could she have missed this? Who really knows what is in another person's heart? Handing loan report to rep. Pointing out discrepency. I love your smile and the sincerity of it. And your laugh makes me giggle. She's complaining about the font. She's complaining about her day. I'm sympathetic cause that's the way I am. I take a moment to listen to her gripes. I want to lay in bed with you for a day and for us to tell each other stories of this that and the other thing...and stupid jokes that we laugh at because sometimes stupid is funny, while running my fingers through your hair and gently tugging on your ear lobes with my fingertips. I want to have a tickle fight where we both fall off the bed laughing because we are both victorious in finding the tickley spots. We'd laugh until our sides hurt and our eyes watered. Until we couldn't laugh anymore and we would be left holding one another as we lay on the floor. Gripe over. Talk to you soon.

Walking upstairs for meeting. Going through checklist of things to cover. Crap I need to return that call to the retirement adminstrator. She's a good gal but we still need to work out a few things. I'd rather think of you so I do. People passing in the hall. Hello. Hello. Wave. Wave. I'm good thanks how are you? Remembering the sound of your breathing. Who was that? Doesn't matter. I like your whispers too.

Especially your whispers.

Where was I?

I'm thinking I've lost my mind. I don't know where to find it. Focus. Meeting with manager...blah-blah-blah. I can't wait to see you. I can't wait to see you. I can't wait to see you. Talk turns to weekend plans. Trips with the family. Dinner for tonight. Pet talk. We love pet talk. Meow?

Back down to my office. Two minutes to 5. Two minutes to get everything else done that I didn't get a chance to do. What are you doing? Have you eaten? If so, what did you eat? Are you on the road. Do you know I worry about you? Am I completely retarded for being so smitten?

Picking up purse. Turning off computer. Locking drawers.

You.

Saying round of goodbyes. See you later! Happy weekend and stuff!

You.

Walking out the door. Pulling up hood to save hairdo from the rain. Walking across parking lot to car.

You.

Unlocking car door.

You.

Climbing into car. Shutting door. Starting engine.

You.

Backing up.

You.

CD comes on. Buckley. Everybody Here Wants You.

I want YOU.

Driving.

Trying to focus. Trying to focus. Trying to focus.