Conversations with Charm's Meds: Take II

Why is this song replaying itself over and over in my head??

"I gave my love a chicken, that has no bone..."

And it wouldn't even be so bad if I had the rest of the song to accompany that line. But no.

Help. Me.

So tonight it's been pretty much the wee one and I. He wanted to go to eat dinner at my most favorite restaraunt in the world. Chili's. The reason why I love it there? Oh must be the 45 minute wait for a table. Then for some reason we always get stuck at a table someone is training on. Tonight, the waitress decided to sit in my lap. Actually she was trying to sit down in our booth next to me, but she didn't give me the eye contact thing prior to moving her booty into the booth to let me know she was actually gonna sit down with us while taking our order and could I please schoochie-schoochie. So. She ended up in my lap.

Good thing I took time to shower, spray some perfume and have minty fresh breath.

So after much embarrassment, she takes our order. We eat. We leave and head to the Big KMart (as opposed to the Little KMart?) for a quick run in to get some candles for our pumpkin creations. Note to any potential suiters out there. Keep me away from the toy section. Seriously. Or if you really love me, you'd let me go into the toy section understanding that I cannot enter the toy section without leaving with something from the toy section. I mean, everyone's got their own version of crack do they not? For some it's po.rn. For other's it's booze. And still others, their version of crack is actually crack. Mine is toys. Long story. Stemming from my toyless childhood. The wee one? He had to drag me out of the toy section. He understands my needs. He has the same ones. Toys. But he got to fullfill his tonight with some new Legos while I experienced the thrill of purchasing votive candles and hair conditioner.

Steady now.

So before our departure from Chili's and arrival at the Big KMart, I tried to call my sis using the ultra-cool voice-activated auto-dial on my cell phone. The thing screwed up. How it could mistake "dolls" for "doh!" is beyond me. A few rings later I'm embarrassed and apologizing to my ex for waking him up (who sleeps at 8:30 at night who isn't 5?). I'm trying to get off the phone while he's trying to ask me what it was I needed. Ummm...guess he couldn't believe I'd call him by mistake? And no...not a freudian slip either. It was my stupid phone. Sheesh already.

Me: Oh I'm so sorry I must have the wrong number.

Him: Charm is that you?

Me: Yes? Who's this?

Him: It's *him*. Is everything allright?

Me: Yes everything's fine. Sorry I woke you. Bye!

Him: Are you sure? Is there something you needed to tell me?

Me: No. Not at all. Everything's fine. Bye!

Him: Charm are you allright?

Me: Let's see. I've only been sick for the past week.Fine. Yes. Bye!

Him: Are you sure. Do you need anything?

Me: Sure? I'm only contemplating on entering the nunhoodness. Nope. I need nothing. Bye!

Him: Okay. But you can let me know if you need anything. Are you okay?

Me: Okay? I only have that one line about the love and the boneless chicken playing in my head endlessly, in addition to comtemplating becoming one of the sisters. Oh sure. I'm fine. Thanks. Here talk to the wee one! Bye!

So that was how our accidental conversation happened and ended. The wee one took the phone. Talked about dinner and then burped for his daddy. Oooh. Burp fumes. On my phone. I'm loving it.

And that brings me to the current. At the moment, besides having the damn chicken song serenading me, I'm thinking I need new hair. I'm thinking bangs! What do ya'll think? Too girlish? Too bangy? Bangs were fine in the big hair days since you could tease them all up and scultpure them into something resembling Mt. Rushmore and no one would think you were strange because it was all about the big hair. Now adays, the Mt. Rushmore bangs do won't do. It just doesn't say class. Ya know? I can go with the natural hanging on my forehead bangs, but I don't really like anything on my forehead. But who knows, maybe a little hairdo change and investment in some vanity will derail my nunhood planning long enough where I lose interest.

So anyways...big decision here for me folks.

To bang or not to bang, that is the question.