Conversation With Charm's Meds: Take I

Is the medication talking tonight?

Hmmm...I dunno...

For some reason I'm thinking it maybe a good idea for me to become a nun.

Yeah.

Someday.

Today I'm admitting to myself, that it's hard for me to really trust anyone ever again. But I remember what it was like to be able to trust, and even though I'd been through a lot with my ex, I don't think I'm jaded. If anything, I'm just more aware that people grow out of who they were. Needs change. People get bored of the same old thing and forget how to appreciate what they have. Forget what's important. I'm not saying that it's that way for everyone. Some people are better at handling the struggles of their marriages and making it work. Or if not making it work, just become masters at hiding the infidelities within their hearts.

Okay...so I know that no one is perfect and therefore hearts and minds stray. And maybe I want something that seems unhuman. This perfect thing in which there is no other in either of our hearts, souls and minds. Well yeah I do. Why shouldn't I? I know I can love someone that deeply so why wouldn't I want for someone to be able to love me the same way?

So I'm in a mood at the moment, meds or not. Is there a full moon hiding behind the rain clouds?

Oh and here's another thing. Want to turn me on? Try turning on my mind and finding a connection with me. And I'm perplexed by people who think that IMing me out of the blue to tell me the size of their wanker is gonna get me all in a tizzy and make me want to tear off my panties. Uh. No. Not that size doesn't matter. But if that's all it took I could go out and buy size and not have to worry about it burping, farting or hogging the remote.

Guys. I don't want to know the size of your weety-weety. So please save me the shock and keep it to yourselves. That is unless you've got the pinkie-sized one, please email me a pic of it as I still need to prove to bub that they do exist.

Is anyone already bored with my new layout as I am? I mean sheesh. What was I thinking? Wanting a clean look? Actually this one is so bright that I have to break out my sunglasses just to look at the screen. Eyes. They hurt.

So anyways...that's all I've got. The dizzy medicine is making me sleepy again so it's that time.

Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and realize that I don't want to someday be a nun afterall. Or just give up all together this ideal of a perfect love. Or think that me being connected with someone may just be a figment of my imagination, created by my need at the moment to feel like I'm not alone and someone else gets me besides me and I get them. But how can you really get someone unless they open up to you? It's impossible. So if you haven't opened up to me, then it's not possible that I can get you, or that I've ever gotten you. As for the layout. I might decided that clean is good afterall and also that maybe it's better to be blinded rather than seeing everything with clarity.