Warning: I Say the Fuck Word A Lot In This One. Oh And Ass Too. I Say That One A Lot In This One.

You now how they say bad things happen in 3's? Well here are mine...

1. It's supposed to be a good day. I start off with ice cream and I'm getting off early to pick up my kidlet who's been with his dad the past 3 days. I get out to my car, the alarm won't disengage. 45 minutes in the parking lot trying to deactivate the alarm from every possible angle, plus opening and checking the stupid batteries in my keychain alarm disengager thing was fruitless.

So after 45 minutes I decide to just open the damn door, knowing that the alarm is gonna go off. But I think maybe the alarm will kill if I just try and start the car. I open the door, alarm goes off, I climb inside, I turn the ignition. I find that the engine automatically is killed if the alarm is not turned-off before trying to start the car. So now, I am trapped in my damn car with the windows up and it's hotter than hell in there.

2. Finally after 3 minutes the alarm stops screaming. Meanwhile I'm roasting in my car trying to decide what to do next. Then my ex calls. I reach for the phone in my purse, and the little motion triggers the fucking alarm again. I'm sitting in a car, with sweat dripping down my face and neck, while the alarm is screaming in my ears and trying to hear what my ex is saying to me on the phone. He's stuttering, which is not good. Then somehow I'm finally able to tune out the alarm and hear the words "Grandma died a few hours ago."

So now I'm sitting in a car with the fucking alarm screaming bloody murder, I'm sweating like a pig and I'm crying. Cept' you can't see the tears rolling down my face because I'm sweating like a pig ofcourse. The only telltale sign I'm crying, my eyes are getting red and puffy.

Sometime after I dried my tears, my dad shows up. He unhooks my battery to turn off the alarm, but since I can't drive without a battery I have a tow truck come to pick me up to tow me 5 minutes down the hill to a car alarm shop place. So then I'm thinking, the 5 minute tow that turned into a 30 minute tow due to an accident that closed down traffic on the hill, that should have been the 3rd. Or the fact that my car was supposed to ready at 7:00 but when I went to the shop to pick my car they said it will be another hour...that would be the 3rd. But no.

3. My dad drops me off here at home. I check messages on the answering machine to get one from my boss. She's apologetic that she's leaving this message for me and that she won't be able to help and blah, blah, blah, examiners need another update on this and that and they need it tomorrow morning at 8:30. Can I come in at 7:00 a.m. to work on it or even tonight? She'll have no problem with me taking comp time.

Fucking what???

Ya know, I was trying to audioblog this but can't even post it cause I was fucking crying too much at the part about grandma. And now this last minute stuff they want so we could possible win another best in practice award for our fucking trophy cabinet? I'm almost tempted to take a picture of my ass and hang it in that trophy cabinet for all the extra work this awards application has caused too many of us this week alone, on top of the fact that they want me to come in tomorrow at 7:00 a.m. or even tonight...do get this report ready for 8:30???

So my priorities...

I called my boss back and calmly told her...sorry I can't go back in to work tonight to get this report done for them. I had the worst day in my life and after wrapping up the worst day of my life I needed to be a mom to my little guy tonight and tomorrow morning. So no I can't come in tonight and no I can't come in to work at 7:00 am as my kid doesn't even start school until 7:45 a.m., I would be a very bad mommy to drop him off at school an hour before the doors even open.

Ya know...if they have a problem with that. They can write my ass up. In fact, I would gladly paste the write up on my ass so I can take a picture of it along with my ass to hang up in that fucking trophy cabinet.

I bet ya'll didn't know I could be such a potty mouth did you?